I have a confession to make. I went to the movies over the weekend, and it was one of the most disorienting, confusing and frankly, embarrassing experiences of my entire life. You see, I went to see Hotel Artemis, only I saw the wrong movie. Now, I paid for the right movie. Unlike Dwight Schrute, I even went into the right theater. I just didn't see Hotel Artemis. Or, well, actually, I saw a movie called Hotel Artemis, it just wasn't the movie my brain thought was called Hotel Artemis.
This is getting complicated so let's back up.
It all started on Saturday morning. My wife asked if I wanted to go see Hotel Artemis, and I immediately agreed. I saw the trailer awhile ago, and it was delightful. Live action movies for kids are my jam. Cate Blanchett is one of the best alive, and I'm back on Team Jack Black after he made me laugh out loud several times in Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. All kinds of in. I'm pretty sure everyone else in the world is too. I mean, look at how much fun the trailer for Hotel Artemis is...
Now, you see how like 5 seconds into the trailer for Hotel Artemis, it says The House With A Clock In Its Walls? Apparently it says that because the movie is actually called The House With A Clock In Its Walls. It is not, in fact, called Hotel Artemis, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with Hotel Artemis. I'm a strong man. I'll step up and admit that's on me. When I watch a trailer for a movie, I should file all of that footage away inside my brain drawer with a label that has the proper title to prevent confusion. I did not do that in this case. So, once again, my B. I'm raising my hand to admit I may have made some mistakes here, but I can't beat myself up all year about it. It could have happened to anyone.
Anyhoo, I went inside the theater, waiting to see Hotel Artemis presents The House With A Clock In Its Walls, and suddenly, I was hit with a first jarring and confusing clue that maybe something was off. One of the trailers used the word "Shit." I'm a pretty open guy when it comes to swearing. If you need it to express yourself and it starts with an "f" or an "sh" or a "c" or whatever letter other bad words start with, then that's your business and you should do you. But a hard "shit" before a "PG" movie was still alarming to me. Whatever. I didn't question it too much because like Truman Burbank, I accepted the reality of the world in which I was presented.
Then the movie started and it was just chaos. I mean do you know what Hotel Artemis, like the real Hotel Artemis, is about? Watch this trailer right quick...
The movie opens with a riot. Then there's a bank robbery. People are just getting shot up left and right. Not like cartoon violence or underplayed violence either. When people get shot, blood actually comes out of their wounds. This is all within the first 15 minutes. So, I looked over at my wife who is sitting next to me, and I said, "How is this a kids movie?" And she looked at me like I was crazy and said, "It's not a kids movie." You would think at this point it would have all clicked, and I would have shouted, "OHHH Hotel Artemis!" I did not. There was no clicking. So then the characters actually get to the title Hotel Artemis, and there is no frigging clock, and there's no precocious kid trying to solve a mystery and save the day. There's only more criminals and death. So, I leaned over to my wife and said, "Where the hell is Jack Black?" And then it all came crashing down via 90 seconds or so of hushed whispers in which my mistake was fully laid bare. Jack Black was not coming.
You can make fun of me if you want for this little snafu. Lord knows my wife has and probably will continue to, but I have to admit, there was something utterly amazing about watching a movie with expectations being subverted at every single turn. Even after I found out Hotel Artemis wasn't The House With A Clock In Its Walls, I had no idea where this thing was going or even who it starred. So, imagine my surprise when a new all-world supporting actor strolled in every 15 minutes. Sterling K Brown. Jodie Foster. Charlie Day. Sofia Boutella. Dave Bautista. Jenny Slate. Zachary Quinto. Even Jeff Goldblum uhhh found a way into Hotel Artemis.
Long story short: I enjoyed Hotel Artemis. 3.5/5. Could have used more Jack Black.
Patrick Wilson doesn't think Ocean Master will be the main villain in another Aquaman movie and while he's yet to hear whether he'll be involved in Aquaman He's not gonna be a main
Aquaman 2: Patrick Wilson Doesn't Think Orm Will Be Main
Solo: A Star Wars Story is a stand-alone Star Wars film directed by Ron Howard from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan and Jon Kasdan, released Worldwide on May 25, 2018. It stars Alden Ehrenreich as Han Solo in the years prior to Star Wars : Episode IV A New Hope .
Peter Farrelly's film nabbed three wins on Sunday night, including the top honor at the 91st Academy Awards. Green Book won best picture at the 2019 Oscars on Sunday, beating out frontrunner Roma
Oscars 2019: Should Green Book be a Best Picture - vox.com
Ralph Breaks the Internet continued to lead the way at the box office with $10.3 million on Thursday for a two-day total of $28.8 million. The film is still well above Coco and Moana 's two-day pace, but it fell 44% from its Wednesday debut, which is a sharper decline than either of those two films suffered.
But Elton John did not want Taron Egerton to try and sound like him which is something that the actor had to work on because it went against his instincts in the role.
Elton John Didn't Want Taron Egerton To Sound Like Him In
Actor Verne Troyer of 'Austin Powers' films dead at 49. The Michigan native became a celebrity after starring alongside Mike Myers as 'Mini-Me' in the 'Austin Powers' films
'Austin Powers' Actor Verne Troyer Dead At 49 | HuffPost
Batman May Kill, But That Doesn't Mean It Should Be The Norm
With the sequel scheduled to hit theaters November 1, 2019, here is everything we know about Terminator: Dark Fate (so far).. New Poster. Paramount Pictures dropped the first official Terminator: Dark Fate poster yesterday and it featured the return of Linda Hamilton as the iconic Sarah Connor, one of the most hardcore big screen action heroes of all-time.
'Terminator: Dark Fate': release date, cast, trailer, and
Watch Rami Malek Film the Live Aid Scene in This 'Bohemian Rhapsody' Behind-the-Scenes Clip! The movie Bohemian Rhapsody is nominated for multiple Golden Globes tonight and director Bryan
Bohemian Rhapsody's iconic Live Aid scene was filmed on day
Rate And Discuss With Spoilers Movies July 8, 2018 No Comments Just when you thought you were done with Marvel movies for 2018, along comes Ant-Man and The Wasp to charm the pants off of you, and with any luck, the rest of the world.
Halloween: Rate And Discuss With Spoilers - newslanes.com
In the new Netflix movie Bird Box, Sandra Bullock's character must navigate a dystopian landscape with her children while blindfolded. That soundsrather difficult, and it turns out filming the
Sandra Bullock Kept Running Into The Camera While Filming
The opening sequence might be my favorite opening of any Potter film, alongside DH Part 1. The movie had an overall dark and beliebeable tone to it! It felt a hopeless, insecure. Johnny Depp as Grindelwald is phenomenal, and so is Jude Law as Dumbledore. The music is incredible. I especially noticed the music during the mirror scene with
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice director Zack Snyder has shared a photo from Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot and Henry Cavill's very first time in costume together as Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman.
Batman v Superman: Zack Snyder Shares Henry Cavill Test
movie streaming sites new zealand
movie streaming theme
how much data does movie streaming use
wonder movie streaming
movie streaming xbox 360
movie streaming royalties
it movie streaming online
jelita sejuba full movie streaming online
veere di wedding free movie streaming
glass movie streaming
what is the best movie streaming app for firestick
columbus movie streaming
movie streaming keeps buffering
what is the best movie streaming service
equalizer 2 full movie streaming
malay movie streaming
i can only imagine movie streaming
can we still be friends movie streaming
jumanji 2017 full movie streaming
what are the best free movie streaming sites
movie streaming bandwidth
movie streaming on ps4
how do movie streaming sites work
do you trust this computer movie streaming
elf movie streaming netflix
movie streaming now
the best movie streaming sites
movie streaming database
top free movie streaming websites
movie streaming chromecast
it movie streaming
what is the best movie streaming
resolution movie streaming
is goosebumps movie streaming
movie streaming history
what's love got to do with it movie streaming
movie streaming buffering
zero movie streaming partner
zama movie streaming
overlord movie streaming
hereditary movie streaming
mandy movie streaming
sing movie streaming
will you be there korean movie streaming
airplane movie streaming
movie streaming pc
jumanji full movie streaming
movie streaming kingsman 2
qismat movie streaming
must be love full movie streaming
qarib qarib single movie streaming
hindi movie streaming
best sites for movie streaming reddit
streaming movie xx1 indonesia
online bollywood movie streaming
movie streaming releases
movie streaming sites yahoo answers
movie streaming vudu
best worst movie streaming
movie streaming ita
now and then movie streaming
movie streaming hong kong
mobile movie streaming
new movie streaming
dilan 1991 full movie streaming
what is movie streaming online
hd movie streaming free
hd movie streaming
life movie streaming
movie streaming library
movie streaming free online
movie streaming api
movie streaming australia
best online movie streaming site
free movie streaming youtube
hong kong movie streaming
one two jaga full movie streaming
movie streaming free trial
indian movie streaming
what streaming movie should i watch tonight
zero full movie streaming
streaming movie tiger zinda hai
it movie streaming free
movie streaming vf
gifted movie streaming
would you rather movie streaming vf
movie streaming laws
movie streaming template
movie streaming with chromecast
disney movie streaming service
ex libris movie streaming
movie streaming companies
a goofy movie streaming
susah sinyal movie streaming
movie streaming free sites
movie streaming rental
movie streaming europe
movie streaming like showbox
there will be blood free movie streaming
lego movie streaming
captain marvel full movie streaming
top 10 movie streaming sites 2018
where to watch movie streaming online free
movie streaming apps for android
movie streaming hardwarezone
unfaithful movie streaming
harry potter movie streaming
movie streaming endgame
movie streaming eng
disney movie streaming
movie streaming us free
movie streaming xbox one reddit
scary movie streaming
movie streaming on firestick
john wick full movie streaming
movie streaming sites 2019
what we do in the shadows movie streaming
movie streaming v
movie streaming raspberry pi
movie streaming live
movie streaming venom
movie streaming hd online
streaming movie kingsman
clue movie streaming
sully movie streaming
ninja movie streaming
english movie streaming free
knock knock full movie streaming
as the gods will movie streaming
movie streaming github
legal movie streaming sites
nonton dilan 1990 full movie streaming
movie streaming gratis
movie streaming uae
movie streaming market
avengers endgame full movie streaming
popcorn movie streaming
worst witch movie streaming
zero movie streaming
youtube movie streaming service
mary queen of scots movie streaming
movie streaming rights
movie streaming quality ts
movie streaming unblocked
rampage full movie streaming
itunes movie streaming quality
#movietime #SomosTuConexi #Seriale #TvSeries #movieaddict #independenceday #watchalert #watchdose #watchos4 #watchblogger #Qesh #blacksocialmedia #america #TVSHow #blackenterprise #watchingthesunset #watchquiz #moviesstreaming #watchestyle #WatchMovies #melanin #netflix #murica #FreeMovies #blackqueen #blacktech #watchfamily #birdbox #americanflag #blackking #watchful #HostalCASAMXalameda #watchhill #merica #blackbusiness #bff #netflixturkiye #Filmametitrashqip #Serialemetitrashqip #watchuswork #watchobsessed #watchluxus #melaninmagic #blacksuccess #blackhistory365 #watchenthusiasts #hostales #watchcandy #fireworks #funnytime #holiday #watchphoto #blackiflix #filmlover #WatchUsRise #WatchRoss #fourthofjuly #socialstreaming #watchbrandname #watchmvmt #firecrackers #watchwomen #watchtattoo #CASAMXhostales #watchswag #saladetv
